10 Steps To Get In Shape To Own A Horse

This pretty much sums it up!!!!

TEN EASY STEPS TO GET IN SHAPE TO OWN A HORSE:

1. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot, don’t pick it up right away, & shout “Get off! Get off!”

2. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice “Relaxing into the fall”. Roll lithely into a ball, and spring to your feet.

3. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a $200 check without even looking down.

4. Jog long distances carrying a halter and holding out a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you’re doing.They might as well know now.

5. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling it to a halt, smile as if you are really having fun.

6. Practice your fibbing skills. “See, moving hay bales is fun!” and ” I’m glad your lucky performance and multi-million dollar horse won you first place!”

7. Practice dialing your chiropractors number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder, and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.

8. Borrow the US Army slogan; “Be all that you can be’…(add) bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled.”

9. Lie face down in the mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself: “This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience .”

10. Marry Money!

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Filed under Equestrian Chic, Horse Wisdom, Horses, How To Ideas, Life, Straight From The Horse's Mouth

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