My aunt Margo sent this “toe pledge” to me via e-mail and I loved it so much I thought I would share it with you.
It’s that time of the year again. Please Raise your big toes and repeat after me:
As a member of the Faux Paux Sisterhood, I pledge to follow The Rules
when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:
I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over
and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the
sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.
I will vow to keep my nails polished (clear polish is acceptable) and the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.
I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
I won’t wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker,
mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if
I tuck it there.
If a strap breaks, I won’t duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back in to
place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.
No matter how much it hurts.
I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl’s if my feet need him.
I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low
price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids’
sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others.
No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat, and I would
hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell
and begin to look like Vienna sausages.
I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she
asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell
her that her toes look like they’ve been dragged behind her car on the
way to work and no sandal in the world is going to make her feet look
I will promise if I wear flip flops, that I will ensure they actually
flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear
NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.
I will promise to go to my local beauty school at least once per
season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 and worth EVERY
penny). I say spend another $15.00 and get a even better one.
I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show
Signs of wear…nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals…
For all our sakes, please don’t keep this to yourself – pass it on to
May God Bless your Soles as well as your Soul!